"Sisterhood" and "sacred." What do these words mean these days?

Thoughts on sisterhood, the sacred, and finding a moral center in a secular world

If you are reading on email, the entirety of this post may not all download so you’ll want to click through to read on the Substack website or app.

Hi friends,

How’s your summer going? Is it hot as heck where you are?

It’s so much hotter on this mountain without the shade from the trees that came down in Helene. On the other hand, the rhododendrons are loving the extra sunlight. The forest is in bloom.

I’m also getting a little extra light this summer. Having a private group to write to every week is glorious. I’m wishing I had tucked my writing behind a paywall forever ago.

As I’ve settled into this new way of doing the newsletter, I’ve realized that for the past twenty years I’ve been constricted in my communication. First, when I opened the herb store, my public-facing writing needed to be FDA friendly. At the time, the Food and Drug Administration was going after herbalists hard. Friends were being fined and having their businesses shut down. I was in a twist every time I sat down at the keyboard: had I made an illegal claim for an herb’s efficacy? Had I told a story that implied a person was cured by an herbal remedy?

After a decade of tortured writing, I gave up. Finding something to say every week when so much was restricted was absolutely exhausting. (You might be thinking wait! Lots of people write about herbs and healing. And you would be correct. Their writing falls under free speech but because I own an herb shop— for two more weeks!— my writing becomes product claims, not protected by free speech. Therefore, years of tortured writing.)

Then I published my first book. To help my publisher with marketing, I created an internet presence that highlighted my expertise. Stay in your lane, I was advised. My lane was pretty wide— even while avoiding talking about the medicinal properties of herbs (‘cuz FDA, still)— and it was a fun lane to stay in: photos of woods and gardens, making concoctions in the kitchen, relaxation techniques with essential oils, telling plant stories from around the globe.

But then some of the folks who followed me got into cancel culture. Very into it. Is that plant story yours to tell? they would ask. I have it from working with the plant, I’d reply. Or I have permission from an elder/ shaman/ teacher to share this teaching. Not good enough! they’d intone….before trying to either educate me or make sure no one ever read one of my books again. The Cancellors were so self-righteous they wouldn’t even condescend to a conversation to discuss their concerns. If I didn’t just get it, I was obviously morally flawed and not worth their time. To be clear, appropriation— the thing they purported to be concerned about— does exist. However, cross-cultural sharing and appropriation are not the same thing. But this type of nuanced thinking is rare in spaces where you have the potential to gain huge social capital simply by creating a spectacle.

Does any of this sound fun to you?

Needless to say, writing in public spaces began to drive up my cortisol. I started questioning my life choices.

Which brings us to now. No book deal, no social media presence, and soon no herb shop. All liberating, for sure. But it’s the paid subscription model that sets me totally free. Google can’t scout behind the paywall. The content of these articles isn’t searchable. So when a publisher or reporter or potential home buyer researches my name, the content behind the paywall doesn’t come up.

To be clear, Substack is not encrypted, so we won’t be planning the revolution here, but the paywall is pretty good for everyday privacy. Plus, if a reader doesn’t like what I have to say, there’s no algorithm and therefore no social pay-off for being obnoxious in the comments…. Which means there’s space for real discussion and sharing. I can write like I’m chatting with friends. I can build community. It’s brilliant, really.

So that’s my pitch for today. I’ll be writing little reminders about the $3/month subscription sale during the month of July. Come August, only paid subscribers will be hearing from me regularly. I hope you’ll be one of them.

Speaking of which, I can’t wait to dish with my people on sisterhood, the sacred, and finding a moral center in a secular world. But, before I pop us behind the paywall, two quick announcements.

1- This is probably the best review of one of my books I have ever read. This same book got a mention in People Magazine but this write-up lights me up more!

2- Come to Come to Center! I love leading this intimate writing retreat with Steph Jagger. We keep it really small (6 people max) so we can form a supportive circle and hold each other through the creative process. It’s a revitalizing experience, especially if you are feeling lonely with your writing. Hope you can join us!

And now? Grab a cup of tea and let me tell you about this crazy month and how it has me thinking about the intersection of sisterhood, spirituality, and real estate….