We received news 3 days before this came out. A decision had to be made. Reading this, seeing the words "make a decision and then make it right," had such a big impact. The decision was to close my business ahead of what was originally scheduled to give my body and immune system much needed relief.
It has been hard and full of emotion. I kept repeating, "make it right". So in dismantling my home healing studio on the first floor for clients I didn't just pack it away into boxes. I integrated it into my art studio upstairs for my PT. I had to re-arrange all the furniture, get my massage table upstairs, but it's been worth it.
Every time I found myself wandering through my house crying, I'd repeat the mantra and gave myself space to grieve this death.
This first week of "retirement" just feels like being unemployed with all the associated emotions, so instead I have given myself permission to ENJOY it! The whole purpose was to decrease my stress, so do THAT! I've been trying 😊.
I won't say it's been easy, but every time I repeat this mantra... make it right... I weave more beauty and peace into my new life. ❤️
Love this, Maia. I've been talking with my adult son about some big choices he is facing right now. I've told him to just make a decision and commit. Your mom's aphorism was a perfect addition, so I sent your article along to him. Great timing. I enjoy your take on sitting at the crossroads. At the writing retreat you mentioned this and it has stuck with me as a symbol for making my choices when writing and doing art. Thanks as always!
Your reflection, on the disparity between your memory and what was in your journal, really resonated with me. It’s a powerful question: “Is truth the facts? The stories we tell ourselves about the facts? Or maybe something in between?”
There was an Oprah interview years ago with a memoirist who, it was reveled, had made up a lot of his life story. That interview stuck with me.... so when I started Letting Magic In, I was determined to be spot-on honest. So that moment of realized my memories and journals weren't in 100% alignment was jarring. I've been gnawing on thoughts about truth ever since.
It was a good day to read this. Years ago, I used to hate myself. I was raised with criticism, high expectations and guilt, plus emotionally unavailable adults who mostly left us to fend for ourselves at a certain point. It took me half a lifetime to flip the narrative from blaming and shaming myself to let that inner light shine and learn to be grateful for all I am and all I’ve survived. So, that person who can’t wait to get to the coffee in the morning so doesn’t look in the mirror, lol, cuts herself a lot of slack in general —- except today. After very little sleep, I was having a day where I just could barely stand myself. It doesn’t happen often, but I was feeling subpar and letting myself know it MY FAULT. It passed, after a couple of short naps, but it was a good choice to read this today.
Oh! And I *literally* live at the end of a three way crossroads and have Hekate’s statue in the window by my door.
I love it here. I knew it was my home the moment I saw it. Despite the shabbiness of the exterior, and the smell of natural gas and the dust (they were painting), I knew it was for me. My things and my energy gave it a new life. Unfortunately, though, these old townhouses are slated for demolition sometime in the next couple of years. It will be so hard to leave this place. But! that is a thing to think about another day!
There's something so delicious about the same information appearing over and over again in slightly different forms. It's like you're standing at the nexus (or the crossroads!) where many threads weave together... a personal hot spot of energy.
We received news 3 days before this came out. A decision had to be made. Reading this, seeing the words "make a decision and then make it right," had such a big impact. The decision was to close my business ahead of what was originally scheduled to give my body and immune system much needed relief.
It has been hard and full of emotion. I kept repeating, "make it right". So in dismantling my home healing studio on the first floor for clients I didn't just pack it away into boxes. I integrated it into my art studio upstairs for my PT. I had to re-arrange all the furniture, get my massage table upstairs, but it's been worth it.
Every time I found myself wandering through my house crying, I'd repeat the mantra and gave myself space to grieve this death.
This first week of "retirement" just feels like being unemployed with all the associated emotions, so instead I have given myself permission to ENJOY it! The whole purpose was to decrease my stress, so do THAT! I've been trying 😊.
I won't say it's been easy, but every time I repeat this mantra... make it right... I weave more beauty and peace into my new life. ❤️
Thank you! Your timing is spot on as always!
Oh wow! Huge, huge changes for you. And congratulations on making the choice that supports your well being. Make it light and make it right! xx
Love this, Maia. I've been talking with my adult son about some big choices he is facing right now. I've told him to just make a decision and commit. Your mom's aphorism was a perfect addition, so I sent your article along to him. Great timing. I enjoy your take on sitting at the crossroads. At the writing retreat you mentioned this and it has stuck with me as a symbol for making my choices when writing and doing art. Thanks as always!
So glad it arrived at the right moment, Deb!
Your reflection, on the disparity between your memory and what was in your journal, really resonated with me. It’s a powerful question: “Is truth the facts? The stories we tell ourselves about the facts? Or maybe something in between?”
There was an Oprah interview years ago with a memoirist who, it was reveled, had made up a lot of his life story. That interview stuck with me.... so when I started Letting Magic In, I was determined to be spot-on honest. So that moment of realized my memories and journals weren't in 100% alignment was jarring. I've been gnawing on thoughts about truth ever since.
It was a good day to read this. Years ago, I used to hate myself. I was raised with criticism, high expectations and guilt, plus emotionally unavailable adults who mostly left us to fend for ourselves at a certain point. It took me half a lifetime to flip the narrative from blaming and shaming myself to let that inner light shine and learn to be grateful for all I am and all I’ve survived. So, that person who can’t wait to get to the coffee in the morning so doesn’t look in the mirror, lol, cuts herself a lot of slack in general —- except today. After very little sleep, I was having a day where I just could barely stand myself. It doesn’t happen often, but I was feeling subpar and letting myself know it MY FAULT. It passed, after a couple of short naps, but it was a good choice to read this today.
Oh! And I *literally* live at the end of a three way crossroads and have Hekate’s statue in the window by my door.
I'm so glad this dropped in at just the right moment! I'd say those crossroads are looking out for you. ;)
I love it here. I knew it was my home the moment I saw it. Despite the shabbiness of the exterior, and the smell of natural gas and the dust (they were painting), I knew it was for me. My things and my energy gave it a new life. Unfortunately, though, these old townhouses are slated for demolition sometime in the next couple of years. It will be so hard to leave this place. But! that is a thing to think about another day!
There's something so delicious about the same information appearing over and over again in slightly different forms. It's like you're standing at the nexus (or the crossroads!) where many threads weave together... a personal hot spot of energy.