Manifesting Self Trust
Or: it takes a long time to figure ourselves out. I'm still working at it. I suspect I will always be working at it...And that's okay.
Many years back, when I was still teaching herbalism, one of my students challenged me to write a manifesto. She said: Any healing program will bring up a lot of muck for those willing to dive deep. A manifesto gives students something to hold on to when the road gets rocky during their journey.
Wise, huh?
Writing a manifesto is not as easy as one would think. Which makes sense when you look at the etymology of the word. Manifesto comes from the Latin manifestum meaning to make clear. So, it’s making what’s important to you clear. Which, if you’re like me, takes a bit of digging.
As I contemplated what to write, it was easy to jot down ideas that were personally vital (say ‘I love you’ often and don’t let shame keep you from the gummy worms!), but harder to find words that conveyed my core beliefs in a way that would actually inspire others and help them through life’s rocky moments…
…Which is important, because, as the root word manifestum (in Latin) over time became manifesto (also in Latin), the meaning changed from to make clear to to make public. So first you make your thoughts clear to yourself, then you take that clarity to the public forum.
By the time I was ready to write a manifesto for public consumption, I was winding down with teaching herbal studies. I had left my position at West Chester University (where I taught herbalism in the Master’s of Public Health program) and was in my final year of running my herb school.
At this transition point, I was trying to understand— for myself—the most important lessons from my time spent studying with a traditional healer in Ireland. It wasn’t simply use this herb for that ailment. It was richer and deeper and more… amorphous.
What were the philosophical and lifestyle lessons—what was the way of being in the world— that allowed me to leave western medicine behind and turn to the natural world? How had I stopped feeling the need for doctors and gurus and teachers? How was I suddenly so calm and grounded?
As I questioned myself, I realized there was a belief that had taken root: I believed I had what I needed within me.
Not everything, mind you. This isn’t to say I was suddenly an island of self-sufficiency.
But I had clarity, a pool of wisdom I could access.
A sense of discernment that let me know, for instance, when I needed an herb and when I needed an antibiotic.
The experiences and how they left me feeling were, in part “healing,” but that wasn’t the whole of it. Words like “seasonal living” or “animism” fell short. The English language felt lacking. And so I began groping about, trying to write around the feeling, sketching the negative space to see what was revealed.
Now, as I read back through the manifesto, the words are still resonant. They still point toward the thing I’ve only recently been able to name:
Self trust.
A manifesto is a way to make manifest, to pull something into being. But that doesn’t mean it happens in an instant. We can put an intention in motion but it grows—it manifests—in its own time. So the other morning, when the words “self trust” suddenly bubbled up within me, it felt both like a revelation and like the final turn in a labyrinth, when you are suddenly and surprisingly in the center but know you’ve been traversing the turns, making your way, for a long time.
I had learned—not that I didn’t need anyone else or any of the teachings of the modern world—but that if I turned inward before turning outward, I wouldn’t get lost. Inside me were the voices of the trees, and the wind, and the stars. Inside me were the DNA trails of my ancestors. In Ireland I learned that I had access to information that came in, not just through my mind, but through every sensation in my body. I just had to give myself a chance to turn in and tune in…
…And this was (and still is) way more profound than use marshmallow for a dry cough and mullein when it’s wet. My Irish teacher used to say, “you use the tools until you don’t need them anymore.” It took me a while to realize that herbalism, like oracle cards and astrology, was simply one of many tools my teacher had used to convey a parallel path of being to the one I had walked until I met her. I had been living her lessons for the past decade, but still didn’t have good language with which to talk about it even after apprenticing with her.
During the transition from teaching herbalism, I started Witch Camp: an immersive journey into the heart of ancient practices and philosophies, a gateway to reconnecting with nature and the profound wisdom that resides within us all. It was a path to self-discovery, a reawakening to the essence of who we are when we untangle ourselves from the narratives modern culture imposes on us—about our identities, our spiritual practices, and our purposes in this world.
Witch Camp beckoned you to cast aside cultural norms and conventional religious and spiritual practices, inviting you to find yourself, just as you are. With the help of herbs, crystals, animal symbolism, and the rhythms of the seasons, it guided you into the depths of your being, encouraging you to embrace your true nature. It asked you to shed your facades, rewild your body, mind, and spirit, and tune in to your inner witch—the wild one within who knows you are an inseparable part of nature, who recognizes the natural magic in the world, and who understands that if you listen closely enough, self-trust becomes your compass.
Tell Me Something True is Witch Camp’s next evolution. This space is devoted to the profound expansion we experience when we use spiritual tools and rituals to cultivate self-trust, enabling us to heed the voice of our intuition. "Tell Me Something True" rekindles the idea of connection and community as inherent parts of our search for self.
TMST is still in its maiden phase, finding its footing, learning itself, and creating what will become its traditions.
I hope one of those traditions will be syncing with the moon cycles, using their pull to help us create a rhythm, an inhale and exhale, that makes life feel less erratic.
So, on this new moon, I invite you to think of what you want to manifest.
Maybe it's a manifesto, a chance to begin the process of distilling yourself into a clear through line, something you can lean into when life gets rocky.
Book announcements:
* The Night School for Young Mystics releases August 6.
* Letting Magic In Kindle edition will be on sale sometime this month. As soon as I get the dates, I will send you a note!
Retreat announcements:
Join me on Long Island, NY for Connect. This magical, creative gathering is being held at Mama Farm which is owned by Isabella Rosellini and her daughter Elettra Weidemann. I haven’t seen the farm in person, but you can check out either of their Instagram feeds for an assortment of enchanting images! Hope to see you there!
(Both West Coast retreats are currently sold out.)
Happy New Moon—
xx Maia
I feel like Witch Camp has been growing along with us, like she's an old friend. TMST is the newest chapter in our journey. 💕Thanks Maia.
Have been thinking about the idea of a manifesto like document for a while now. I’m spending time peeling back the language I use to articulate my values and beliefs, questioning which things are my own inherent wisdom and which are born from the social norms I operate within. I love the idea of witch camp becoming a midlife version as it feels that this work can only be done at this place in life. Appreciate you for creating space to hold that work.