Tell Yourself You're Okay

I was gifted the cozy warmth of community and I want to share it with you.

I dread baby showers. The ooo-ing and coo-ing over diapers and onesies; the calculated competition for best stroller or bouncy chair. Picking at wrapping and ribbons with swollen fingers while simultaneously entertaining a crowd of glammed-up women always seems to me a task too monumental for someone in the final months of pregnancy

How long has she been at this? I’ll wonder, surreptitiously looking at my phone. Does she need a cold drink? Maybe a nap?

If I hadn’t known last weekend’s party would be different from the invitation and the personality of the mom-to be, the set-up as I got off the elevator would have clued me in. My pregnant friend’s apartment door was propped open. In the public hallway, one series of unadorned folding tables had been lined with chairs while another table stood alone awaiting the platters of food— teriyaki meatballs and blueberry muffins, fruit salad and samosas— which were being carried out of the apartment’s kitchen. The mom-to-be was barefoot and in a comfortable caftan with tassels on the sleeves. Her brother-in-law had brought it from Pakistan.

I pulled my party power-move and ducked into the kitchen to help with the food. Luckily I was just in time to help figure out how to cut the zucchini brownies. My husband and I usually just spoon them right from the pan, the woman who had made them said, laughing at her own efforts to cut perfect squares. I don’t know if I know how to make them look nice!

Slowly, we followed the food from the apartment to the folding tables. Kids ran up and down the hallway. My friend’s three year old son plopped down next to me and we had an important discussion about the varying sweetness of pineapples. The three year old’s father appeared and we had a less intense discussion about their pending move to Florida where he was taking a medical residency. Chatter and laughter began to take the edge of the hallway’s sterility.

As plates and platters were picked clean, the guys quietly departed, taking the children with them. Just the women remained; we gathered closer together. A song was offered (played not sung), then a poem. Bits of wisdom were shared and a story or two. One woman spoke the affirmation she recites with her daughter each night before bed. (When she isn’t home at bedtime, her daughter proceeds alone and sends her a video.) The hallway became warm and welcoming and homey. I watched the momma-to-be glow-up as different women came forward with their verbal offerings.

I glanced at my phone. It was a day of parties: next was a 60th birthday. For once, I was loathe to leave. The gathering of women felt like a golden net, buoying and supporting my friend and baby that would be.

And the amazing thing? I felt loved and supported, too.

I hadn’t felt much of that in the past few months. The world has been feeling harsh, brash, and loud. The decisions Andrew and I have needed to make have come fast and furious. My sense of urgency has been high.

As I sat down to write today’s missive, it occurred to me that you might also be feeling jarred and jangled. That maybe the net of care and love I felt at the baby shower could be extended to support you, too.

Here are the component parts:

• Blueberry muffins and chocolate zucchini brownies.

• This song, played loud.

• A hug from a friend or two (you’ll have to take care of acquiring this one!).

And this affirmation, written by Namwila Mulwanda, and adopted and adapted by Ashlee Stutsrim, one of the moms at the party.

I am brave
I am strong
I am enough
I have strength in my voice
And I am tough
I am beautiful
Creative
And I know just who I am
I am special
Because I am me
And there is no one I would rather be
I am [name]
I trust in myself
I make good decisions
I value my intuition
I am proud of who I am

I keep thinking about this affirmation and wondering what I need to tell myself right now so that I can know, deep in my bones, that I am okay.

I am grounded
I am whole
I am strong…

Maybe.

What affirmations do you need to give yourself right now? What can we chant into the chaos that will serve as a cord (or chord) to remind ourselves who we are and who we want to become?

Thinking….

One last thing: Did you miss the beginnings of my novel that I shared last week? Head over to How to Write a Novel to check it out.

P.S. (as in Paid Subscribers😜): It’s time for spring cleaning! Dust off your crystals and pull out your unused tarot decks ‘cause we’re getting ready for a Spring Equinox medicine swap!

The details:

I have a basic belief that medicine (the stuff that helps you heal in body, mind, or spirit) wants to be used. It doesn’t want to molder on a shelf.

So I love doing medicine swaps!

On or near the Equinox, I will post a chat thread for paid subscribers. If you have something you are no longer using, post it (I have a bunch of stuff I will be listing). Note that we are gifting not selling.

If you see something you want, comment to the poster. You can then move to DM, text, or email to arrange the swap. You will arrange the swap however it’s comfortable for the people involved. Often the receiver will PayPal or Venmo the shipping charge to the gifter.

Allow Letting Magic In to be your invitation to rediscover wonder, deepen your connection to the world around you, and awaken the magic that’s already within—grab your copy today and begin your own journey of becoming!