My teacher Jean Raffa, in her book The Soul's Twins, speaks of the archetype of the Queen as one more interested in species preservation than in self preservation. We have to expand out of the western mindset to comprehend that.
I have never heard that quote— thank you! That has been a huge goal of mine as well. As a teen I would twist situations in my mind till I didn’t own any of it. I can still remember the distorted, angry, and rigid feeling of that… it’s not a feeling I wish to have again.
For me, self sovereignty means taking responsibility for my actions 100% of the time. My favorite of the Buddha’s 5 remembrances is “My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand”. I don’t always get there, I still doubt and blame but less and less each day.
So interesting that you said “I may be pagan, but…” I get it AND I find it fascinating that we associate caring for others only with specific spiritual & religious practices. I mean, although I’m not wiccan, the wiccan rede says “AND IT HARM NONE, do what you will.”
As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown to l or caring for people more instead of just caring for myself or immediate family so for me I think it’s both my spirituality and how I am as a person, also I have your wild wisdom books all three and the herbiary is my absolute favorite.
For me, Sovereign of Self means that I am able to set my own boundaries and hold them. This has been my Life's greatest challenge. I was not taught that I could have control of my own life, my own body, or that I was allowed to even set a boundary let alone hold to one. I was always at war... my body and mind being the smaller country surrounded by enemy territories always set on trying to conquer my own.
So this is my Great Work as an adult coming into Queendom of my late 40's with adult-ish children, empty-nesting (which we promptly filled with another tiny dog) and forced retirement due to a health crisis.
For women, I think there is always a health crises somewhere because western medicine is not whole medicine for women. I can't tell you how many times my care has been led with pills to cover over symptoms instead of finding a cause, or being told I am the cause so take the pills or stop complaining. My hubby is floored... he said no one has ever offered him the amount or types of pills doctors seemingly want to hand out to me like candy, or spoken to the way male doctors have spoken to me.
So more recently, holding my boundaries means holding my own hand in all these appointments and deciding for my Self what kind of care I want, how I want to live my life, and how I want to feel about it. Period.
I also have to hold boundaries for training the new puppy, which is so hard and challenging because I can't take the convenient path with her. I've watched the phrases coming out of my mouth with her and they make me cringe... voices I rebelled against as a child... "whose a good girl? Can you be a good girl? I have a treat for my good girl! Whose my best girl? Oh! Figgy is good... he's being such a good boy! Can you be like Figgy? Can you do this too?"
It's brought up all this pain and now I have to hold the boundaries of keeping up with her training while addressing how it makes me feel as a woman with my therapist. It's definitely NOT doing whatever I want to do. It's holding myself to the standard of being a Queen. It's hard. But also important.
I am a nation onto myself and I have a better idea now of how to do that. It's been a very long and difficult road, but I finally feel like there is a feeling of contentment filling my heart. I have not had that in a long time while in the presence of other people.
Wow, Isabella, there is so so much rich and fertile ground here! Also, this is such and important and usable— practical— definition of self-sovereignty.
As someone who divulged earlier in life from Western medicine, I am fascinated and horrified by the experiences you have reflected here. I’m now curious to poll my friends.
I am also curious about your friends' experiences. I feel like I'm finally coming back into my Self. Rising up from a long descent. I am different now. Clearer. ❤️ Thank you for your response. They always make me feel like magic. 🌙
I've been wrestling with this for a while now... Thinking and talking with my 30-something kids about individualism (and identity) as it relates to larger groups/ communities. How do we balance individuality with the need for common rules/norms that govern how we live together in this place and on this earth? I like that description of sovereignty WITH the land, the place, and with others. We are always connected. I'm continually striving to balance my needs with those of the greater whole... From meals with my husband to social/political activism, my choices reflect my deep connections and rely on the wisdom of experience and stillness. Self-sovereignty should never be selfish.
Sounds like we’ve been wading in similar waters, Deb, which feels like we’re both trying to see how self sovereignty plays out in this phase of life not just as a theory but a practical reality and practice.
I don’t think we understand the term sovereign in the US where there is no sovereign per se.
Sovereigns have incredible amounts of responsibility. They aren’t free to do whatever they want. They DO have ton of resources at their fingertips. And they have lots of authority to do things.
Every ounce of authority is weighted with equal responsibility.
As a sovereign, I am responsible for my Queendom and all it contains. Sometime it means eating food I’d rather not because my parents who are in my care require something else. Or, it means that I work a job to pay my bills because I’m responsible for housing.
Freedom comes with responsibility as does authority. It does not exist in a vacuum.
I have been trying to draw a line in my mind between the mothering and creating phase of life, and the time of queendom. I think the sense of having solid inner resources might be a part of the queen phase.
There has always been a spark of sovereignty within me. Even as a kid, I could feel it. I lost it for a few decades, but a cancer experience that stripped me of everything external, leaving me exposed and vulnerable brought me back to it and to myself. It's been an unfolding now for the last few decades. I feel now, at 65, more power in my own Queendom and the power of stepping into who I am and in service and contribution to the whole. Still have a way to go to allow my full light to shine out into the world, knowing we are all connected and what I am able to give myself, I can then give to the world.
Love your post - and love that your Celtic teachers called you the Morrigan. Feels so right!
Interesting— Sophie’s comment also mentioned stepping in personal sovereignty through a health crisis. And I started my path through a health crisis. The body always leads if we allow it.
My Queendom is seated within the temple of time…known as Templum. Borders defined by the sacred space of Celtic time where boundaries cease to exist. I revere each moment of the day in flow with the present moment – where the past, present and future exist in the instant of experience. I do not let time as Tempus…chaos…rule my days. I get stuff done, but in my time. I am not ruled by guilt if I don’t. If the timing isn’t right or the energy lingers stagnant or feels inauthentically forced, I move into another sector of my Queendom. I honor the time I have, and worship each moment of the day rather than lament the time that may have been lost. These moments become the part of me in the temple of my soul. I believe in right timing. If I sense completion of a task is blocked, I step away until the red carpet unrolls to reveal a green field of possibility…one of ease and grace. My throne sits in that field under a big old oak tree that protects me from the harsh light of judgement imposed by those who live in the neighboring Kingdom. Ha!
I so wish I could reply in Swedish, it would make my life easier or at least easier to express myself. But here I go...
I've been thinking about this a lot this Spring. For me it was in relation to our health care system. In believing they could cure me I gave them the steering wheel to my life. Bad idea, I got worse and felt powerless. When taking charge of my life I began to heal. So for me self-sovereign is about being in charge of my life, having a picture of who I want to be and how I want to feel. And in this I can't do whatever I want if it hurts someone, myself included but I am the superstar of my life.
This is what I'm aiming at but some days, like today, I doubt my life choices and the path I'm on.
My teacher Jean Raffa, in her book The Soul's Twins, speaks of the archetype of the Queen as one more interested in species preservation than in self preservation. We have to expand out of the western mindset to comprehend that.
That’s a lovely and important take on it!
I have never heard that quote— thank you! That has been a huge goal of mine as well. As a teen I would twist situations in my mind till I didn’t own any of it. I can still remember the distorted, angry, and rigid feeling of that… it’s not a feeling I wish to have again.
For me, self sovereignty means taking responsibility for my actions 100% of the time. My favorite of the Buddha’s 5 remembrances is “My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand”. I don’t always get there, I still doubt and blame but less and less each day.
I personally see it as selfish to only focus on myself. I might be a pagan but I always do what’s better for the people around me not just myself.
So interesting that you said “I may be pagan, but…” I get it AND I find it fascinating that we associate caring for others only with specific spiritual & religious practices. I mean, although I’m not wiccan, the wiccan rede says “AND IT HARM NONE, do what you will.”
As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown to l or caring for people more instead of just caring for myself or immediate family so for me I think it’s both my spirituality and how I am as a person, also I have your wild wisdom books all three and the herbiary is my absolute favorite.
💗💗💗
For me, Sovereign of Self means that I am able to set my own boundaries and hold them. This has been my Life's greatest challenge. I was not taught that I could have control of my own life, my own body, or that I was allowed to even set a boundary let alone hold to one. I was always at war... my body and mind being the smaller country surrounded by enemy territories always set on trying to conquer my own.
So this is my Great Work as an adult coming into Queendom of my late 40's with adult-ish children, empty-nesting (which we promptly filled with another tiny dog) and forced retirement due to a health crisis.
For women, I think there is always a health crises somewhere because western medicine is not whole medicine for women. I can't tell you how many times my care has been led with pills to cover over symptoms instead of finding a cause, or being told I am the cause so take the pills or stop complaining. My hubby is floored... he said no one has ever offered him the amount or types of pills doctors seemingly want to hand out to me like candy, or spoken to the way male doctors have spoken to me.
So more recently, holding my boundaries means holding my own hand in all these appointments and deciding for my Self what kind of care I want, how I want to live my life, and how I want to feel about it. Period.
I also have to hold boundaries for training the new puppy, which is so hard and challenging because I can't take the convenient path with her. I've watched the phrases coming out of my mouth with her and they make me cringe... voices I rebelled against as a child... "whose a good girl? Can you be a good girl? I have a treat for my good girl! Whose my best girl? Oh! Figgy is good... he's being such a good boy! Can you be like Figgy? Can you do this too?"
It's brought up all this pain and now I have to hold the boundaries of keeping up with her training while addressing how it makes me feel as a woman with my therapist. It's definitely NOT doing whatever I want to do. It's holding myself to the standard of being a Queen. It's hard. But also important.
I am a nation onto myself and I have a better idea now of how to do that. It's been a very long and difficult road, but I finally feel like there is a feeling of contentment filling my heart. I have not had that in a long time while in the presence of other people.
Thank you for reminding me.
Wow, Isabella, there is so so much rich and fertile ground here! Also, this is such and important and usable— practical— definition of self-sovereignty.
As someone who divulged earlier in life from Western medicine, I am fascinated and horrified by the experiences you have reflected here. I’m now curious to poll my friends.
Thank you for sharing.🙏💗
I am also curious about your friends' experiences. I feel like I'm finally coming back into my Self. Rising up from a long descent. I am different now. Clearer. ❤️ Thank you for your response. They always make me feel like magic. 🌙
I've been wrestling with this for a while now... Thinking and talking with my 30-something kids about individualism (and identity) as it relates to larger groups/ communities. How do we balance individuality with the need for common rules/norms that govern how we live together in this place and on this earth? I like that description of sovereignty WITH the land, the place, and with others. We are always connected. I'm continually striving to balance my needs with those of the greater whole... From meals with my husband to social/political activism, my choices reflect my deep connections and rely on the wisdom of experience and stillness. Self-sovereignty should never be selfish.
“Self-sovereignty should never be selfish.” That’s a word right there!
Sounds like we’ve been wading in similar waters, Deb, which feels like we’re both trying to see how self sovereignty plays out in this phase of life not just as a theory but a practical reality and practice.
I don’t think we understand the term sovereign in the US where there is no sovereign per se.
Sovereigns have incredible amounts of responsibility. They aren’t free to do whatever they want. They DO have ton of resources at their fingertips. And they have lots of authority to do things.
Every ounce of authority is weighted with equal responsibility.
As a sovereign, I am responsible for my Queendom and all it contains. Sometime it means eating food I’d rather not because my parents who are in my care require something else. Or, it means that I work a job to pay my bills because I’m responsible for housing.
Freedom comes with responsibility as does authority. It does not exist in a vacuum.
YES!
And
I have been trying to draw a line in my mind between the mothering and creating phase of life, and the time of queendom. I think the sense of having solid inner resources might be a part of the queen phase.
Mmm, I don’t think we ever stop being other archetypes. I like to think I collect them like bouquets:-)
They come in and out of focus.
I agree— there is one that’s more dominant at any moment (your way of saying it is far more poetic🤣).
There has always been a spark of sovereignty within me. Even as a kid, I could feel it. I lost it for a few decades, but a cancer experience that stripped me of everything external, leaving me exposed and vulnerable brought me back to it and to myself. It's been an unfolding now for the last few decades. I feel now, at 65, more power in my own Queendom and the power of stepping into who I am and in service and contribution to the whole. Still have a way to go to allow my full light to shine out into the world, knowing we are all connected and what I am able to give myself, I can then give to the world.
Love your post - and love that your Celtic teachers called you the Morrigan. Feels so right!
Interesting— Sophie’s comment also mentioned stepping in personal sovereignty through a health crisis. And I started my path through a health crisis. The body always leads if we allow it.
so true!!!
My Queendom is seated within the temple of time…known as Templum. Borders defined by the sacred space of Celtic time where boundaries cease to exist. I revere each moment of the day in flow with the present moment – where the past, present and future exist in the instant of experience. I do not let time as Tempus…chaos…rule my days. I get stuff done, but in my time. I am not ruled by guilt if I don’t. If the timing isn’t right or the energy lingers stagnant or feels inauthentically forced, I move into another sector of my Queendom. I honor the time I have, and worship each moment of the day rather than lament the time that may have been lost. These moments become the part of me in the temple of my soul. I believe in right timing. If I sense completion of a task is blocked, I step away until the red carpet unrolls to reveal a green field of possibility…one of ease and grace. My throne sits in that field under a big old oak tree that protects me from the harsh light of judgement imposed by those who live in the neighboring Kingdom. Ha!
Kimberly! Centering sovereignty around time is a new and gorgeous thought for me. Thank you for sharing this.
Sounds powerful and poetic
gorgeous and inspiring!
Beautiful and powerful.
I so wish I could reply in Swedish, it would make my life easier or at least easier to express myself. But here I go...
I've been thinking about this a lot this Spring. For me it was in relation to our health care system. In believing they could cure me I gave them the steering wheel to my life. Bad idea, I got worse and felt powerless. When taking charge of my life I began to heal. So for me self-sovereign is about being in charge of my life, having a picture of who I want to be and how I want to feel. And in this I can't do whatever I want if it hurts someone, myself included but I am the superstar of my life.
This is what I'm aiming at but some days, like today, I doubt my life choices and the path I'm on.
Sofie, you explained this so well in English— I can’t imagine what you would have done in Swedish.
It’s centering to think about this through the lens of self care and health— that’s where the thoughts first came up for me, too.
Thank you, Maia!